Episode #81
Kerstin Kimel
Episode Title
Building for Staying Power: Duke Lacrosse Coach Kerstin Kimel on Hard Work, Leadership, and a 30-Year Legacy
Episode Description
Kerstin Kimel did not arrive at Duke with a finished blueprint for greatness.
She arrived young, competitive, shaped by an athletic family, and carrying lessons that had been repeated throughout her childhood: work hard, hustle, finish what you start, treat people fairly, and control what you can control.
Then she started building.
When Duke women’s lacrosse played its first season in 1996, Kerstin was creating more than a team. She was establishing the foundation and culture of a program she wanted to last. The early years were not about instant results. They were about steady progress—three wins, then eight, then ten, then an NCAA Tournament appearance, followed by a Final Four.
Three decades later, Kerstin is still coaching, still competing, and still convinced there is more to accomplish.
Her story reaches far beyond wins and losses. Kerstin talks candidly about becoming a coach at 23, raising a family inside the world of Duke athletics, learning how parenthood changed the way she coaches other people’s children, surviving cancer, and recognizing later in life that taking care of herself cannot be treated as a luxury.
She also shares what she believes young athletes, parents, and aspiring coaches need to hear: try different things, learn to handle failure, embrace responsibility, work harder than expected, be a great teammate, and understand that meaningful success requires paying your dues.
At the center of Kerstin’s story is something she told her players during Duke’s earliest years: they were not building for a quick moment of success. They were building for staying power.
For any woman pursuing a dream that may take years—or decades—to fully reveal itself, Kerstin’s life offers a compelling example of what can happen when passion is matched by patience, standards, service, and the willingness to keep showing up.
Key Discussion Points
• 02:43 — Kerstin talks about growing up in an athletic family with parents who were teachers and coaches and how sports became part of her identity early in life.
• 04:07 — She reflects on looking up to older female athletes and gradually realizing she wanted to compete in college.
• 06:22 — Kerstin shares how her father encouraged her to try lacrosse in ninth grade and how quickly she fell in love with the sport.
• 07:53 — She looks back on her success at the University of Maryland, including being featured in Sports Illustrated’s “Faces in the Crowd,” while admitting she never envisioned becoming what she eventually became.
• 09:58 — Kerstin explains how she unexpectedly discovered coaching through working summer camps while she was in college.
• 12:13 — She recalls landing her first college coaching job at Davidson, living on $18,000 a year, and learning lessons she believes helped build her character.
• 15:07 — Kerstin describes the lessons from her parents that stayed with her: work harder, hustle, finish what you start, be fair, and control what you can control.
• 16:21 — She explains that Duke women’s lacrosse was intentionally built around a foundation and culture designed to “survive and thrive,” rather than produce quick success.
• 20:29 — Kerstin talks about how coaching became intertwined with her identity and family life after being hired at just 23 years old.
• 22:24 — After 30 years, she reflects on longevity and explains that she remains in coaching because she still loves the players, helping them grow, and the game itself.
• 24:20 — Kerstin shares how becoming a parent changed the way she coaches and reinforced the importance of guiding athletes through both success and failure.
• 27:28 — She offers advice to parents of young athletes, emphasizing multiple sports, hard work, hustle, responsibility, and being a good teammate.
• 29:41 — Kerstin remembers the moment she knew Duke could compete at the highest level: convincing her players they could beat powerhouse Maryland—and then doing it.
• 31:57 — She discusses faith, prayer, walking, and other practices that help her manage difficult seasons and maintain perspective.
• 37:25 — Kerstin talks about her cancer experience and why support from other women motivated her to pay that same encouragement forward to others facing similar diagnoses.
Notable Quotes
“We're actually building a foundation and a culture that is going to survive and thrive.”
“We're building for staying power.”
“If you aren't the best player, you can always control how hard you work and how much you hustle.”
“I love helping them grow.”
“You giving your kids boundaries is the most important way you demonstrate love for them.”
“I think that hard work never goes out of style.”
Takeaways
• Sustainable success is often built slowly. Kerstin’s early Duke teams improved step by step while creating a culture intended to last.
• Effort remains within your control. Hard work, hustle, preparation, and being a good teammate became foundational principles in both Kerstin’s upbringing and coaching.
• Leadership is ultimately about people. Even after three decades, Kerstin says her love for the players, helping them grow, and the game itself keeps her connected to coaching.
• Failure can be part of development. Kerstin believes young people sometimes need to experience mistakes and disappointment rather than always being protected from them.
• Caring for yourself is not a luxury. Her experiences with parenting, coaching, aging, and cancer changed the way she thinks about rest, faith, health, and personal care.
• Support creates an obligation to support others. After receiving guidance from women who had survived breast cancer, Kerstin felt strongly about paying that encouragement forward.
• Dreams that become careers still require sacrifice. Kerstin’s advice to aspiring coaches is clear: be willing to grind, pay your dues, and put in the work the job requires.
Connect with Guest
Website: https://goduke.com/sports/womens-lacrosse
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dukewlax/
@dukewlax
Email: kmkimel@duke.edu
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